


Maybe We're Just Pretending

by yourbestapology



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 15:49:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7444903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourbestapology/pseuds/yourbestapology
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucy and Alex like each other more than they care to admit. But they can totally handle pretending to date when Lucy’s ex-girlfriend comes to town without any repercussions. At least, that’s what they keep telling themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Man, this idea has been driving me nuts since April. I started writing it months ago then abandoned it, and now I’m back to it. I’m a sucker for the fake dating trope and as much as I would love to keep this light, it will get kind of angsty as the chapters go on because let’s face it, these idiots can’t keep their feelings straight. I hope you guys enjoy it! It’s been fun to write.

Normally, Alex wouldn’t care that Lucy’s spent the _entire_ day walking around in a fog and pouting at anyone who will look at her. Normally, she’d just continue to ignore the moping (it works sometimes with Kara) and go about her day.

But if Lucy sighs one more time…

Alex downs the rest of her drink and swivels in the bar stool so she’s facing Lucy’s glum form. “Alright, Lane,” she slurs slightly, feeling the immediate effects of the double whiskey sours she’s been slurping all night. “What’s got your panties in a twist? You’ve been walking around like someone ran over your puppy all day. I can’t look at your dumb face anymore.”

Lucy sighs yet again and swirls the skinny straw all around her drink. “It’s nothing.”

“Oh, it’s something,” Alex corrects with a slight smile. She prods Lucy’s shoulder repeatedly until their eyes are locked. “Tell me!”

Lucy can’t help smile at how dopey Alex looks. “You look just like your sister when you smile like that,” she points out, laughing when Alex sits up straighter and blows the hair out of her face. “I mean, well, not like Kara because you guys aren’t blood related…but…yeah.”

“You know for a former lawyer you’re not very articulate.”

“Shut up.”

Alex orders another round and rolls her eyes when Lucy orders a martini. Does this woman think she’s made of money? “Seriously,” Alex asks again with an agitated groan. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Lucy daintily picks up her martini glass and peers sadly into the liquid that’s hopefully going to help her forget about this day. “My friend from law school is getting married.”

“Really?” Alex scoffs, helping herself to the olive in Lucy’s drink. She pops it in her mouth and frowns when Lucy glares at her. “Did you want that?”

Lucy flips her hand like it’s no big deal. “It’s complicated.”

“How so?” Alex asks in curiosity. She sips her whiskey sour and traces her finger around the rim of the cold glass. “Was she like your ex-lover or something?”

Lucy glowers but doesn’t answer.

Alex sits up straighter and tries to control the look of shock on her face. “Oh my god, she totally was. No way.”

“Sssh!” Lucy hisses in annoyance, leaning forward and slapping her hand over Alex’s mouth when she’s squealing rather adorably. “Like I said, it’s complicated.”

“I never knew you took a dip in the lady pond.”

Lucy flounders at Alex’s statement and runs a hand through her hair. “It was just…it was just an experiment.”

“Except you totally fell in love with her and she broke your heart, correct?”

“Correct,” Lucy mumbles after a pause. She can’t bring herself to look at Alex.

Alex sighs in sympathy and awkwardly pats Lucy’s shoulder. “Well, her loss, right? I mean, you’re like super successful and…not ugly so…”

“Gee, thanks,” Lucy frowns and shoves a handful of peanuts in her mouth. She hasn’t eaten since noon and the alcohol is quickly clouding her judgment.

“Welcome.” She drums her fingers on the bar at the awkward silence. “I bet she’s gotten fat since the last time you saw her.”

“I doubt it,” Lucy laughs sadly. “I stalked her Instagram the other day and nope…still gorgeous.”

Alex chews on her bottom lip. “Lemme see her.”

“What? No!”

“Yes! I want to see her.” Alex wrestles for Lucy’s phone and manages to pilfer it successfully from Lucy’s much smaller hand. “What’s her name?”

“Alex,” Lucy whines in embarrassment. She steals her phone back and begrudgingly pulls up the account belonging to her ex-girlfriend…or whatever she is. “Don’t you dare accidentally like anything!”

“I won’t,” Alex says in annoyance. She snatches the phone back, prepared to flatter Lucy in every which was she can muster without making it uncomfortable. “Well…”

Lucy raises an eyebrow. “Gorgeous, right?”

“Eh,” Alex shrugs, trying not to roll her eyes at the cliché pictures littering this woman’s account. “I think you’re hotter.” She closes her eyes and curses under her breath when Lucy smirks.

“Do you now?”

“Whatever. Why are you still hung up on this chick? The dude she’s marrying looks like he could be her father.”

Lucy shrugs and drops her head on the bar. She can’t help but smile when she feels Alex’s hand rub soothing circles on her back. “It’s just…weird.”

“If it makes you feel better, my ex-boyfriend from college got six girls pregnant in the span of two years…”

Though it doesn’t really make Lucy feel better, she chuckles anyway. “That just means you have horrible taste in men.”

“I know,” Alex grins drunkenly. “So what’s her name?”

“Lana.”

“Lana?” Alex scoffs. “What a dumb name.”

“It is kind of a dumb name,” Lucy giggles after a few seconds.

“You know what? Screw Lana,” Alex declares, louder than necessary. “I mean…don’t literally screw her…but like…you know what I mean.”

Lucy stares at Alex blankly. “Can you speak English, Danvers?”

“Shut up. Did she invite you to the wedding? Is that why you’ve been moping all day?”

“Maybe,” Lucy mumbles, lips slipping into a pout.

“You don’t have to go,” Alex points out like she’s inflicted some sort of wise wisdom on Lucy. She pokes Lucy’s cheek when she’s _still_ pouting. “Jesus, you look like Kara when I tell her I ate all the pot stickers.”

That gets Lucy to giggle and honestly, Alex is proud of herself. Cheering people up is not exactly her forte but all Lucy needs is some flattery and drunken words of encouragement.

“Look, Lana Del Ray can go to hell,” Alex continues.

The corners of Lucy’s mouth tug upwards into a smile. “And she can take her dad/husband with her. He honestly looks like he’s 65.”

“I bet he has to take Viagra to get it up.”

Lucy bursts out laughing and Alex smiles, rather pleased for not managing to make the situation worse.

“Thank you,” Lucy whispers once her laughter dies down. She reaches across and places a gentle hand on Alex’s forearm.

Alex just smiles, reveling in the softness of Lucy’s palm on her skin. “Yeah, whatever,” she says brusquely once she realizes she’s been staring into Lucy’s eyes for several seconds. “You want another martini?”

“Oh no,” Lucy shakes her head. “Let’s do tequila shots.”

\--

“I’m not even _that_ drunk,” Lucy insists while she teeters in her sky-high heels outside of Noonan’s. She shivers a bit as the breeze hits her bare skin.

“Really?”

Lucy nods and steps forward, nearly falling flat on her face. She steadies herself when Alex’s arm wraps around her waist and pulls her upward. “Okay, maybe I’m a little drunk.”

“Just a little?” Alex teases with a smile. She keeps her hand lightly on the skin of Lucy’s stomach that her black crop top does not cover.

Lucy suddenly feels warm and safe, reveling in the comforting hand across her stomach. “I think I’m going to puke.” She lurches forward and desperately tries to swallow the bile rising in her throat. “Too much tequila.”

Alex’s fingers splay across Lucy’s abdomen and she bends down with the significantly smaller woman so they’re squatting on the empty sidewalk. She self -consciously rubs her thumb across the smooth skin to help soothe the nausea Lucy’s currently feeling.

“You okay?”

It takes Lucy a minute but she’s able to stand up again with Alex’s hand hovering around her waist just in case. “I’m okay,” she confirms with a moan. “I’m okay.”

Alex is skeptical but lets Lucy walk on her own and laughs when she stumbles forward like a baby deer learning to walk for the first time. The night air is cool and crisp and it’s the perfect spring night to get lost in the stars.

“How are you not as drunk as me?” Lucy slurs in wonderment. Her hair falls in her face and Alex fights the urge to brush it back.

“Maybe I can just hold my liquor better,” Alex boasts smugly.

Lucy’s face contorts in thought. “No,” she scoffs. “I had more shots than you, loser.”

“I guess I just know when to quit,” Alex says smartly. She holds her hands up in defense and quickens her pace when Lucy sways back and forth on the curb. “We should get an Uber.”

“Lemme see if there’s a cab,” Lucy slurs as she narrows her eyes to see if she can make out a yellow taxicab in the sea of bright lights coming toward them all at once.

Alex pulls out her phone and ignores the “I want Chinese food” texts from Kara and searches for her Uber app. She looks up just in time to see Lucy nearly trip off the curb and fall flat on her face.

“Lucy!” Alex chides, grabbing Lucy’s arm to pull her back. Honestly, if Kara could get drunk, this would be her. “Don’t move. Stand still.”

Lucy giggles and folds herself into Alex’s body, slipping her arms around her waist and sighing contently. “Yes, boss.”

Alex orders an Uber and awkwardly pats Lucy’s back when the smaller woman buries her face into the crook of her neck. “I told you to stop after the third shot.”

“And I told you to fuck off,” Lucy whispers with a slight laugh. She holds on tighter when her head starts to spin.

“You also slapped me.”

“Oops,” Lucy slurs against Alex’s shoulder. “My bad.”

Admittedly, Alex feels a lot more sober since she stopped drinking after the first shot of tequila. She has plans with Kara tomorrow and dealing with her overly chipper sister hungover is not something she ever wants to go through again.

“Are you going to be okay?”

Lucy’s drunk but still coherent enough to hear the concern in Alex’s voice. “I will survive,” she sings off key, never loosening her grip. “How are we getting home?”

“I got an Uber,” Alex points out slowly, as if she was talking to a little kid. “Carl should be here any minute.”

“Carl,” Lucy scoffs. “Do you think I should ask Carl to be my plus one to Lana’s wedding?”

“I think Carl might be old enough to be your grandfather,” Alex chuckles. “So yeah, go for it.”

Lucy groans and tilts her head back so she’s looking up into the night sky. “She left me for this guy,” she admits in a small whisper.

Alex is silent, straining her ears to make sure she’s heard right. “Oh.” She feels the anger seep through her veins because how _dare_ this woman hurt Lucy. How dare anyone hurt Lucy.

“I told her I loved her,” Lucy continues softly. She closes her eyes when Alex’s arms squeeze her waist in comfort. “And she told me there was someone else.”

“Why would she invite you to the wedding then?” Alex can’t help but ask. Lucy can only shrug, incoherently mumbling something she can’t quite decipher.

The Uber arrives and Alex brushes off the wetness of Lucy’s tears dripping against her bare shoulder. She taps her arms and gestures toward the awaiting car. “Let’s get you home, okay?”

Lucy just nods, smiling when Alex has the same protective look on her face when someone poses a threat to Kara.

\--

“Doesn’t this movie make you cry _every_ time you watch it?”

Alex resists the urge to roll her eyes as Kara frantically dabs at her watery blue eyes. Her sister’s forced her to watch _The Brave Little Toaster_ for the umpteenth time.

“No,” Alex answers, trying to ignore the dull pain between her eyes. Despite her best efforts, she’s still got a slight hangover-but she’s definitely in better shape than Lucy. She spent half the night holding the smaller woman’s hair back as she retched violently into her toilet.

Kara glares at her sister and hugs a throw pillow tight to her chest. “You’re a monster.”

“Kara, it’s a movie about animated appliances,” Alex says grumpily.

“But, but the blanky! He just wants to find his master!”

“And spoiler alert: he does. We’ve seen this movie at least 85 times.”

“It’s _still_ sad,” Kara pouts, crossing her arms and focusing her attention back to the television. It’s the scene where the mean, grumpy vacuum is trying to suck the master’s picture out of the blanket’s hand. “I hate this vacuum.”

Alex groans and drops her head in her hands.

Kara sighs dramatically and shuts the movie off, handing Alex the remote and letting her watch whatever she wants. “Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

“Couch,” Alex deadpans without even thinking. “I woke up on a couch this morning.”

“Well that’s your own fault.”

“It’s Lucy’s fault.”

Kara tilts her head to the side in confusion. “Lucy Lane?”

“No, Lucy Liu,” Alex replies sarcastically. She flips through the channels quickly and smiles when she discovers there’s a marathon of _Alaskan Bush People_ on.

“Oh, I hate this show,” Kara moans. “And, yeah,” she scoffs, “like Lucy Liu would ever let you sleep on her couch. I met her once, you know.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Okay, I _saw_ her once,” Kara corrects with a slight frown. “She totally stole Cat’s latte at Noonan’s but it was fine.”

Alex shakes her head in amusement. “And Cat was okay with that?”

“No,” Kara shakes her head. “Apparently Lucy Liu also stole Cat’s bike at her spin class so she’s had it out for her ever since.”

“I thought Sandra Bullock stole Cat’s bike at spin class?”

“That was like…last month, Alex, keep up,” Kara guffaws. “Do we really have to watch these Neanderthals?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Alex tucks the remote into the couch cushion. “Because I said so.”

Kara rolls her eyes and flops dramatically against the arm of the couch. “Real mature.”

Alex sticks her tongue out to solidify her maturity. She grabs her cell phone when it vibrates obnoxiously on Kara’s coffee table and tries to make out the preview of the rambling text message Lucy has sent.

_I’m sooooo sorry about last night! I’m so embarrassed. Can we pretend it never happened?_

She takes a minute to respond because she doesn’t want Lucy to think she has no life.

_We can pretend it never happened but it totally happened. I’ve never seen that much puke come out of someone so small._

Lucy responds right away.

_STOP! Tequila and I don’t mix._

_Clearly._

_Ugh Danvers, shut up._

_Make me._

Kara peers curiously over Alex’s shoulder. “Who are you texting?”

“Mind your own business,” Alex says, jabbing Kara’s side with her elbow to shoo her away. She hands over the remote. “Fine. Watch whatever you want to watch. EXCEPT the toaster movie.”

“But he’s so brave,” Kara whispers to herself, jutting out her bottom lip.

_Anyway thank you for everything last night._

Alex can’t hide the smile on her face. She’s thankful Kara’s too engrossed in finding the right show to watch on Netflix to notice.

_It’s cool. I guess I can add part time therapist to my resume._

_I’m really impressed you know who Lana Del Ray is…_

_So am I._

_Can I buy you lunch or something? You did watch me puke my guts out at 3 am this morning._

_And that is an image I will never forget. I’m at Kara’s if you want to come over…_

_I don’t want to invade your sister date._

_Please. She’s been watching the brave little toaster and crying like a baby. I need a drink._

_Omg that movie is so sad!_

_Ugh I take it back. You’re not allowed over anymore._

_I’ll bring wine. And pizza._

_Fine you can come. Just don’t throw up everywhere._

“Lucy’s coming over,” Alex says like it’s no big deal.

“Lucy Lane?” Kara questions again, settling on _Friends_ and scrolling past the different seasons until she gets to her favorite episode. “Ohhhh.”

“Don’t ‘ohhh’ me,” Alex says in slight offense.

Kara giggles and scoots closer to her sister. “I saw that photo she posted of the two of you on Instagram last night. Thanks for the invite by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” Alex grins sarcastically. “What photo? I didn’t give her permission to post anything!”

“Honestly, Alex! I made you an Instagram account. Did you even see the cute collage I put up of the two of us for national sibling day?”

“Nope.”

Kara huffs and reaches for her phone. “You two look _pretty_ cozy if you ask me.”

“Well I didn’t ask you.” Alex grabs the phone from her sister’s hand and tries not to smile at the awkward yet endearing drunken photo Lucy has put up. “How do I report this and get it taken down?”

“It’s so cute!” Kara coos, taking her phone back before Alex can leave an inappropriate comment under her username. “I didn’t know you guys were like drinking buddies. Or dare I say…friends?”

“We’re not,” Alex is quick to answer but shrugs when Kara looks unconvinced. “She was having a bad day yesterday so we went to Noonan’s, had way too much to drink, and I spent most of early this morning holding her hair back while she puked.”

“Sounds like love to me,” Kara says teasingly, patting Alex’s knee when she glares at her. “Just kidding. Is everything okay with Lucy? Do I need to throw someone into outer space? Because I can.”

Alex smiles at the protectiveness in her sister’s voice but knows it’s not her secret to tell. Instead, she pats Kara’s head and pulls her in closer. Some days, she wonders if Kara will ever need her like she did when they were kids. Ever since she came out as Supergirl Kara’s needed her less and less. It makes Alex feel like she’s lost her purpose.

“Just stuff with her family,” Alex says, adding in a sigh to really sell the lie.

Kara frowns and drops her head on Alex’s shoulder. “That sucks.”

Alex hums in agreement and sits up straighter when there’s a knock on the door. Kara rushes to get it and squeals at the sight of Lucy trying to balance two large pizzas and a bottle of wine under her left arm.

“You brought me pizza?” Kara says in excitement, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“I did,” Lucy confirms with an enthusiastic nod. “Buffalo chicken.”

Kara gasps as she takes the top pizza box out of Lucy’s grasp. “All for me?”

“All for you.”

Alex playfully rolls her eyes and hurls herself off the couch to help.

“I figured she’d eat a whole pizza so I got two,” Lucy says, looking like she just stepped off a runway in skinny jeans and a simple black tank top that shows just a bit of cleavage. Not that Alex is staring or anything…

“How do you not look hungover?” Alex can’t help but ask, feeling very self-conscious in her ratty sweatpants and old Stanford t-shirt.

Lucy grins smugly. “I rarely get hangovers.”

“But I watched you puke your brains out.”

“And then I felt one hundred percent better!” Lucy says like it’s no big deal. She can’t help but laugh as Kara digs in to her third slice of pizza, wiping the buffalo sauce off her face as it dribbles down her chin. “We should probably hide this before she can get to it.”

“Nah, usually buffalo chicken puts her in a food coma. Good choice.”

Lucy brightens at Alex’s compliment and takes a rather gooey and greasy slice of cheese and takes a large bite. “Thanks.”

Kara scoots over to the middle cushion and holds her pizza box protectively in her lap. “What do you guys want to watch?”

Alex winces at the scent of buffalo sauce radiating off her sister’s breath and pushes closer to the arm of the couch. “Something made for adults.”

Lucy bites her lip to stop herself from laughing when Kara scowls and mumbles something in what she can only assume is Kryptonese under her breath.

“I _know_ what that means,” Alex says sharply, her eyes never leaving the TV until Kara eventually chooses something stupid like _Cupcake Wars_ and Lucy immediately yelps about how much she _loves_ this show.

Because of course she does.

Alex pinches the bridge of her nose and eyes the lonely bottle of wine on the island in Kara’s kitchen forlornly. Lucy and Kara are too busy arguing over who’s going to win the cupcake war and honestly, Alex does not care one bit. She, however, _does_ care that Kara is practically in Lucy’s lap as they look at one of the hundreds of dog Instagram accounts that Lucy follows.

She pulls out her own phone and subtly texts Vasquez.

Exactly thirty seconds later, Kara’s phone rings and she dramatically hems and haws about having to go.

Lucy eyes Alex suspiciously when Kara takes off out of the window. “Really? You pay Vasquez to send Kara on fake missions?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Alex says coyly through bites of cheese pizza. She turns off _Cupcake Wars_ and goes back to _Alaskan Bush People_ because it’s a hell of a lot more entertaining.

Lucy leans over and shoves her phone in Alex’s face. “You sent it in our group chat.”

Alex feigns innocence and refuses to look at the begging text message she’s sent Vasquez. “But now we can enjoy the quiet.”

“What is this show?” Lucy asks sort of judgmentally when the opening credits end and she’s watching a rather large family flit through bushes with axes and large guns.

“Only the greatest show ever. Just watch what they do.”

Lucy picks off a piece of crust of the slice of pizza she’s been painstakingly eating and chews it thoughtfully. “So,” she begins awkwardly. “About last night…”

Alex holds her hand up and reluctantly pauses the show because Lucy looks like she’s on the verge of having a panic attack. “Don’t even worry. We all have our moments.”

“I’ve never told anyone that before,” Lucy blurts out quickly. “Not my dad, not my sister…not even James.”

“Really?”

“So you can’t tell anyone,” Lucy begs and Alex half expects her to pinky promise. She runs a hair through her hair and tugs anxiously on a loose piece that’s fallen out of her messy bun. “Please?”

“Yeah, whatever, sure,” Alex shrugs good-naturedly. She pats Lucy’s knee to let the smaller woman know she’s serious.

“Thank you,” Lucy says genuinely. She gives up on the pizza when her stomach feels uneasy. She tells herself it’s because there are still traces of a hangover lingering but she knows deep down it’s because she’s so close to Alex that she can smell her perfume and is able to follow the faint clusters of freckles splashed across Alex’s nose and cheeks. They’re only visible up close.

Kara lands ungracefully through the living room window with a resounding thud. She slips her lips into a pout and looks at her sister suspiciously.

“I think Vasquez is losing her marbles,” she begins with a sigh, wildly waving her arms around before trotting into the bedroom to change. “There was no fire on Temple Street!”

Alex remains serious when Kara reemerges from the bedroom, pulling an old gray t-shirt down her torso (she catches Lucy trying _not_ to stare at Kara’s taut stomach).

“Oh?”

“Anyway.” Kara resumes her spot on the couch and looks between Alex and Lucy like she’s missed out on something. “Lucy! Did you let Alex put the weird bush people back on TV?”

Alex expects Lucy to take Kara’s side, because people usually do, especially when she pouts and flutters her eyelashes.

“Nope,” Lucy lies with a winning smile. “I _love_ the weird bush people.”

Alex knows she's in trouble when Lucy winks at her. 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you much for the reviews! I really appreciate them! :) I'm also glad to see other people who love Alex and Lucy as much as I do. I ended up re-writing most of this chapter otherwise I would have posted it sooner.

“I need a favor.”

Alex doesn’t bother to look up from her computer (where she’s _not_ reading a click bait article entitled: _Here’s What Happened When Six Corgi Puppies Visited A College Campus_ ) to answer her sister. “No.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to ask.”

“I’m busy,” Alex says vaguely. She reluctantly closes the Chrome tab and goes back to her boring report when Kara attempts to peer over the monitor.

“No you’re not,” Kara blinks with a slight scowl. “I heard you playing Candy Crush earlier.”

Alex scoffs but fails to defend herself because she _was_ playing Candy Crush earlier, unable to beat the same level she’s been stuck on for weeks. “So?”

“So? That doesn’t mean you’re busy. It means you’re avoiding something.”

“I’m not avoiding anything, thank you very much,” Alex says matter-of-factly. She leans back in her office chair and stares at her sister, kind of curious as to what she’s awkwardly lingering in the doorway for. “Okay, what do you want?”

Kara instantly brightens. “I need you to come to Noonan’s with me.”

“What? No! You can walk to Noonan’s by yourself. You’re a big girl.”

“It’s not that,” Kara begins softly, crossing her arms and sucking her bottom lip between her teeth. “You know the new barista there? The one with the man bun?”

“Yes,” Alex wrinkles her nose.

“He won’t stop asking me out!” Kara confesses dramatically like it’s been a secret locked inside for ten years.

Alex sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Did you say no?”

“No…”

“Well, do you want to go out with him?”

“No! Gross,” Kara shudders and plops down on the couch. “I just…I just keep telling him I’ll think about it. I’ve been thinking about it for three days now.”

Alex turns her palms to the ceiling. “So just tell him no.”

“I, I don’t know how to say no!”

“Uh, you say no to me all the time.”

Kara falters. “Well, that’s different. You’re my sister. I can say no to you.”

“Kara, Man Bun is like…Lucy’s height. Just tell him you don’t date men under six feet tall. He’ll get a giant complex and never talk to you again.”

“I can’t risk him spitting in Cat’s lattes, Alex,” Kara says seriously, holding a hand over her heart.

“Why? It’s not like you’re drinking them.”

“You’re gross.” Kara knows she has to resort to begging. She juts her bottom lip out and clasps her hands together, shaking Alex’s chair when she turns around to stare back at her computer. “Please! I’ll buy you lunch. He won’t leave me alone!”

“I already ate.”

Kara sighs when Alex doesn’t take the bait. “I’ll buy you a coffee.”

“No.”

“Alex, please! I’ll never ask you for anything ever again.”

“I’ve heard that thousands of times before, Kara.”

“Okay, fine.” Kara stands up and petulantly kicks the wheels on Alex’s chair so it shakes just a bit to rattle her sister. “I’ll fend Man Bun off myself.”

“I believe in you,” Alex says dryly. She shakes her head in amusement when Kara practically stomps out of the office, only to return seconds later.

“What if I invited Lucy to come?” Kara grins when Alex clears her throat and sits up straighter in her chair.

“Why would that make a difference?”

Kara picks at her thumbnail and shrugs. “Vasquez said you’ve been making _heart eyes_ at Lucy all morning.”

“Vasquez is legally blind in one eye,” Alex practically growls. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

Alex stands up and shoves Kara out of her office, feeling more than satisfied when her clumsy sister trips over her own feet and nearly falls down flat on her ass.

“That could have been catastrophic,” Kara pouts, rubbing her backside. It doesn’t hurt but sometimes it garners sympathy points from other DEO agents. If they think she’s working too much they get their wives to bake and send her home with dozens upon dozens of baked goods to last her a good three days or so.

Alex decides to _kill_ Vasquez later and tries to lose her sister somewhere in the crowd of various agents all dressed the same in the epicenter of the bustling DEO. To no avail, Kara keeps up with her pace and fails to get lost in the shuffle.

Kara snickers as she hears Alex’s heart rate quicken when Lucy comes into view, looking rather perturbed about something.

Alex is _totally_ making heart eyes at Lucy as she storms over.

“Hi Luc!” Kara says when Alex fails to function like a proper human being when Lucy comes within two feet of her.

Lucy grumbles under her breath and stares at Alex and ignores everyone else in the room. Kara’s immediately offended. “Want to spar?”

Alex inwardly groans and thinks about the buffalo chicken calzone she scarfed down for lunch not even twenty minutes ago. Plus, seeing Lucy all hot and sweaty is not something she can deal with right now. “I just ate.”

Then Kara, with a big, cute smile, butts in. “I’ll spar with you!”

“Good,” Lucy practically hisses, grabbing Kara by the elbow and leading her away.

Alex glares at the back of her sister’s golden blonde curls bouncing back and forth and tries not to frown.

“Uh oh.”

“What?” Alex looks at Vasquez suspiciously.

“Is Little Danvers moving in on Little Lane?”

“ _No_ ,” Alex says with more bite than she means to. “I mean…no. They’re just sparring.”

“Right.” Vasquez clicks her tongue and focuses on the main controls. She fiddles with some buttons and twirls around in her chair so that she’s facing Alex. “I’ve seen you making heart eyes at Lucy Lane all morning.”

“I, I’m not making heart eyes,” Alex stutters in her own defense because she’s _not_! She’s not making “heart eyes” at Lucy freaking Lane. “What does that even mean?”

“You totally are, dude. It’s like your eyes are going to pop out of your head every time she comes near you. What happened when you two went out for drinks over the weekend?”

Oh, you know…Lucy Lane likes girls.

“Nothing! Nothing at all. She got super drunk and I ended up holding her hair back while she puked her guts out.”

Vasquez wiggles her eyebrows. “How romantic.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m telling you, Danvers,” Vasquez begins with a smirk. “I haven’t seen you like this since you had the hots for that weird barista with the septum piercing.”

Alex shudders because Dahlia is singlehandedly the most embarrassing crush she’s ever had and she can no longer show her face at the Starbucks on Main Street.

“You’ve got it all wrong. Lucy…Lucy’s my friend.”

“Right. Since when?”

“Since…since always.”

Vasquez laughs. “Just last week you bitched about her for a solid fifteen minutes because she wanted to start a recycling program here.”

“That’s because…that’s because-”

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Lucy! I didn’t mean to. I swear!”

Alex is almost afraid to ask what happened because _Jesus Christ_ , Lucy’s nose is gushing blood and Kara is awkwardly trying to guide her to a chair while trying not to break down in the middle of the DEO. Vasquez winks and Alex pretends she didn’t see anything when she goes to tend to Lucy, because they’re friends. And that’s what friends do.

“What did you do?” Alex asks her sister rather calmly, pulling the empty chair next to Vasquez so Lucy can sit down.

Kara’s bottom lip quivers. “N-nothing! It was an accident. I thought she was going to block my punch.”

“It’s not her fault,” Lucy reassures Alex, reaching out to touch her side. She takes a breath and pinches the tissues against her nose harder. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Kara whispers, peering down and scuffing her boots against the tiled floor.

Alex shakes her head because she knows Kara genuinely feels bad and she’s probably going to go home and bake Lucy a funfetti cake and write _I’m sorry_ on the top in bright pink frosting. It’s going to look like Kara had a seizure writing it but Lucy will find it adorable. She squeezes Kara’s shoulder and is grateful when Vasquez pulls up a video of her puppy to distract Kara.

“Come on,” Alex grumbles, pulling Lucy to her feet and bringing her to the empty med bay that’s out of sight because she doesn’t need Vasquez spying on them.

Lucy sits down on the metal table and sighs. “Just…just tell me it’s not broken.”

Alex pulls on a pair of latex gloves and politely pushes Lucy’s hand away from her nose. She studies it carefully and bites her lip while she pokes gingerly at it.

“Oh god,” Lucy groans at the silence. “It’s broken, isn’t it?”

“No, no,” Alex says in reassurance. She gives Lucy a new tissue and awkwardly guides her hand up to her nose. “I think it’s just a bloody nose. How high did you have the kryptonite emitters?”

“She put them up pretty high because I’m ‘dainty’,” Lucy laughs sadly, collapsing back and staring at the halogen light dangling above her.

Alex averts her eyes when Lucy’s top rides up. “You really didn’t see her big kryptonian fist coming at you?”

“I was…” Lucy trails off, closing her eyes and sucking in a breath. “Distracted.”

“By?” Alex can’t help but ask, feeling nosier by the second. She watches Lucy’s abs clench before patting her knee so she can sit up. “You should, ah, you should sit up and tilt your head forward or else the blood might drip down your throat.”

Lucy complains but does as she’s told. She ignores Alex’s first question and sighs, swinging her legs back and forth under the table.

“I think the bleeding has stopped.” Alex removes the tissue from Lucy’s hand and smiles when there’s just a bit of dried blood around her nostrils.

“You’re _sure_ it’s not broken?”

“I’m sure. Do you want Kara to come in here and look at it with her x-ray vision?”

Lucy scoffs and runs a hand through her sweaty hair, tugging at her messy bun that’s haphazardly thrown together. “No. I believe you.”

“You better.”

Alex peels off her gloves and throws them away in the trash along with the rumpled tissues Lucy was using to stop the bleeding. She washes her hands and dries them on the back of her pants, raising an eyebrow when Lucy snorts.

“What?”

“She Who Cannot Be Named called,” Lucy begins awkwardly, cringing when Alex looks confused.

“What the-”

“You know like in Harry Potter? Voldemort was-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know Voldemort and Harry Potter,” Alex says dismissively. “I read the books to Kara when she first came to live with us. It was the only way I could get her to go to sleep at night.”

Lucy holds a hand over her heart and jostles Alex’s shoulder. “That’s so _sweet_!” she coos in a saccharine voice that makes Alex scowl. “You’re such a softy, Danvers.”

Alex remains nonplussed and gestures for Lucy to carry on.

“Anyway,” Lucy clears her throat and stares blankly through the glass doors. She bites down on her bottom lip. “She’s in National City for some conference.”

“Right,” Alex snorts. “A conference in your pants.”

Lucy’s eyes widen and her fingers curl around Alex’s bare arm. “No. _No_!”

“Uh huh, sure,” Alex teases, staring down at Lucy’s perfectly manicured fingernails that are still resting on her arm. “You don’t have to see her if that’s what you’re freaking out about.”

“I know,” Lucy snaps suddenly, closing her eyes when Alex looks offended. She takes a breath and stares all around the stark room. “Sorry, I just did something stupid and…”

Alex follows Lucy gaze to the doors of the med bay when she trails off and takes three suspicious steps back when Kara gingerly walks through the doors.

“I’m sorry again,” Kara says quickly when Lucy catches her gaze. She fiddles with her cape and looks at Lucy apologetically. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know you didn’t,” Lucy whispers, opening her arms. She smiles when Kara comes forward and hugs her as lightly as possible.

“It’s not broken?”

“It’s broken in three places,” Alex jumps in before Lucy can respond.

Kara looks momentarily horrified. “What?!”

“It’s not broken. Don’t listen to her,” Lucy laughs, tugging on Kara’s cape when she looks like she’s going to cry.

Kara does her own scan just to be sure and sighs in relief when Lucy’s telling the truth. She turns around to glare at Alex (who’s trying so hard not to laugh) and focuses back on Lucy. “Do you want to come to Noonan’s? Let me buy you lunch!”

“No, no that’s okay.”

“No, please! I owe you. I mean, I almost _broke_ your nose.”

Lucy concedes and slides off the metal table. “Alright, fine. If you insist.” She peers at Alex almost pleadingly. “You coming, Danvers?”

“Fine,” Alex scoffs, following Lucy out of the room.

“I thought you already ate, Alex?” Kara asks smugly, watching her sister’s pale face turn red instantly.

“Do you want me to threaten Man Bun or not?”

“I’ll meet you guys there,” Kara squeaks, turning on her heel and zooming out of the DEO before Alex can find a way to cause her harm.

“Man Bun?” Lucy asks in interest. “Who is Man Bun?”

Alex rolls her eyes. “Some weird barista who keeps bothering Kara.”

“Ah,” Lucy nods knowingly. “So you’re going to threaten his life?”

“Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.”

“Oh, this I have to see.”

\--

Kara’s (impatiently) waiting outside of Noonan’s, arms crossed and ready to launch into a pre-rehearsed frazzled lecture when Lucy and Alex _finally_ show up more than fifteen minutes later.

“Where have you guys been?”

Alex holds her hands up. “Sorry. Some of us lack the ability of flight,” she says discreetly before gesturing to her civilian clothes. “And we had to change. _And_ Lucy’s stupid Prius is incapable of going over twenty miles per hour.”

“We were in a school zone!” Lucy says in defense. “And my Prius is saving the environment. Which is more than you can say with that gas guzzler of yours.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“Stop flirting!” Kara breaks in suddenly, gasping and throwing her hand over her mouth when she realizes what she said. “Um,” she laughs nervously, reaching out to playfully punch Alex in the shoulder.

Her sister is going to _murder_ her some how, some way.

“Bickering. I meant to say…bickering.” Kara clears her throat and blinks seventeen times in a row before continuing. “I only have ten minutes to get Cat’s latte before I have to go back to the office. She wants front row seats to Beyoncé and I think I have a better chance of finding a unicorn than these tickets.”

“Is Man Bun going to propose?” Lucy teases, poking Kara’s side when she steps into Noonan’s.

Kara glares at Alex. “You _told_ her about Man Bun?”

“No,” Alex feigns innocence and scans the inside of the restaurant to locate said Man Bun.

Kara scampers to the counter and is relieved when it’s Jill, her favorite barista who never asks her out, just where her cardigans are from. “Hi!” she chirps happily, subtly looking around for Man Bun. “Can I get one of Ms. Grant’s latte to go please?”

Alex spots Man Bun (real name: Percy) refilling coffee lids and tediously picking splenda packets out of the equal container. At least he has a good work ethic.

Kara thinks she’s in the clear as she quickly swipes her debit card and grabs the piping hot latte. That is, of course, until she backs up and knocks into Percy, causing the sleeve of coffee lids in his hand to fall and spill all over the place.

Lucy turns away to stop herself from laughing while Alex resists the urge to give Percy a swift kick in the ribs for making her sister so uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry!” Kara squeaks, side stepping the dozen of lids scattered around the floor.

Alex is proud when Kara doesn’t bend down to help.

“It’s alright,” Percy says smoothly, standing up to leer at Kara. “I’ll forgive you… _if_ you go out with me.”

“Um, well,” Kara begins, her voice an octave higher than normal. She looks at Alex (and a very bemused Lucy) helplessly. “Tonight is no good. S-sorry.”

Percy runs a hand through his greasy hair and shrugs. “Tomorrow?”

“I, uh, busy…I’m always busy…”

“Oh, come on.”

Alex clears her throat when Percy reaches out to rub Kara’s shoulder. “Kara, you should probably get back to work.”

“Right. Right. Work…” Kara scrunches up her nose and shrugs apologetically at Percy (who barely reaches her chin). “Bye!”

Lucy steps aside so Kara has a direct route out the door. She turns around just in time to see Percy checking Kara out from the back. Perfectly in sync with Alex, she crosses her arms against her chest and glares.

Percy just chuckles. “She’ll come around. They always do.”

“Yeah,” Alex scoffs, standing up just a little bit taller in her boots. “I have a license to carry in six different states,” she threatens with an overly polite smile. “If you bother my little sister one more time I’ll make it so your family has a _very_ hard time finding your body.”

“You should have showed him your gun,” Lucy says once Percy is out of earshot. Alex rolls her eyes and tugs at the hem of her shirt. “Do you want to split a banana nut muffin?”

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” Lucy asks skeptically, hopping in line when a crowd of people rush in. “Don’t even try and say you’re gluten free because I saw you shoving a bagel down your throat this morning.”

Alex shakes her head in embarrassment. “Okay, I was _hungry_. And I’m not gluten free, idiot. I’m allergic to nuts.”

“Aren’t we all,” Lucy mutters louder than she anticipates.

“What?

“What?” Lucy coughs and fixes her gaze to the case displaying all of the different pastries. “Nuts, huh? You’re really allergic to nuts?”

“Yes…”

Lucy nods and steps forward when the lines move. “Since when?”

“Since infancy?”

“That’s like…the worst allergy to have.”

Alex looks at Lucy weirdly. “Sorry to offend you.”

“So you’ve like, never had a Reese’s? You’re missing out, man.”

“I’d also be missing out on the ability to breathe so…I’m good, _man_.” Alex fishes her phone out of her back pocket and opens Candy Crush. “Order me an iced vanilla latte,” she says to Lucy. “I’ll find a table.”

Lucy can only nod, trying to stare anywhere but Alex’s hips as they sway back in forth in the tight jeans she’s currently wearing.

“Miss?” The barista asks quietly.

Lucy shakes her head to regain her train of thought and orders two vanilla iced lattes and a blueberry muffin.

“You allergic to blueberries too, Danvers?” Lucy asks, dropping the small brown bag on the table.

Alex doesn’t look up from her rousing game of Candy Crush. “No.”

“Good, we’re splitting this then,” Lucy all but demands, taking the muffin out of the bag and tearing it in half as best as she can.

“Why?” Alex groans when she loses and resists the urge to throw her phone against the wall. She’s already spent too much money buying extra lives. She won’t fall for it today.

“I’m being nice. Just eat.”

“Did you poison this?”

“Yes.”

Alex playfully rolls her eyes and breaks a tiny piece off the muffin top. “I feel like you want something.”

Lucy flounders at Alex’s bluntness and laughs nervously. “W-what? No!”

“What do you want?”

“Nothing, honestly…” Lucy looks to the front door of Noonan’s and feels her heart drop to her feet. “We have to go.”

Alex looks up in confusion, inconspicuously wiping a muffin crumb off the side of her mouth. “Why?”

“So, um, you see that tall blonde woman over there?” Lucy points. She immediately reaches over and slaps Alex’s hand when she turns around. “Don’t look!”

“You just…”

“That’s…that’s…”

Alex puts two and two together. “She Who Cannot Be Named?” She steals a quick look at the woman in question when Lucy drops her head in her hands to hide.

She Who Cannot Be Named is a tall blonde in a well-tailored pantsuit who probably spends her mornings at Pilates and her Tuesday nights at kickboxing. Alex suddenly feels inferior, pushing the remnants of her muffin aside.

“Is she gone?”

“Nope. She’s probably ordering a non-fat latte.”

Lucy scoffs and slips further down in the seat. “Do I have a clear exit path?”

“Why are you being so weird about this? She’s probably sexting her creepy fiancé. She won’t even notice you’re in here.”

Lucy takes a breath and begins to relax. “You’re right. She’s not going to-”

“Lucy? Lucy Lane, is that you?”

“I don’t want to freak you out but I think she saw you…” Alex cuts in rather amusingly. She watches Lucy stiffen in her chair and steal a look back.

“Okay, before she comes over here I just want you to know…”

“What, is she going to kill us?”

Lucy shakes her head and awkwardly waves when She Who Cannot Be Named has definitely spotted her. “Remember back at the DEO I told you I did something stupid?”

“No,” Alex tilts her head to the side. “When did you tell me that?”

“In the med bay! Right before your alien sister came in?”

“Oh,” Alex laughs. “I wasn’t really listening.”

“Alex, I have five seconds to get this out. Shut up.” Lucy sucks in a breath and feels the walls closing in on her when Lana is getting closer and closer. “I told Lana I was seeing someone.”

Alex shrugs. “Okay? So?”

“Lucy Lane! Oh my god!”

Lucy glances back at Lana, then back at Alex. “I may have told her _you_ were my girlfriend. Please don’t kill me.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ick, I'm so sorry this took so long! Real life got in the way and I got a full time job and I'm moving soon...but...anyway! Finally found some time to write. Thank you all so much for the reviews! I'm sorry I didn't get to reply to each one personally. I appreciate all of the comments!

“Are you mad? I feel like you’re mad.”

They’re back at DEO and Lucy feels two inches tall as she desperately follows Alex around in her lab, watching the other woman bury her face in a microscope and merely shrug her shoulders thinking it suffices as an answer

“Alex, I’m sorry. I panicked, okay?”

“I’m not mad,” Alex finally replies in a voice that clearly says otherwise. She tears her gaze away from the microscope lens and sighs when Lucy looks like she’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“Yes you are,” Lucy points out with a slight an eye roll.

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

Alex gets off the stool and stands up in frustration. “I’m not mad!”

“I used to be a lawyer. I can tell when people are lying.”

“I just…” Alex takes a breath and shrugs off her lab coat. Realistically, she doesn’t need anything in the lab. She’s just using it as a distraction. “Why did you tell Lana you had a girlfriend?”

Lucy pinches the bridge of her nose. “I don’t know. It just came out.”

“Why?” Alex finally gets out in confusion. “Why me?”

Lucy shrugs and stares at Alex like she’s got two heads. “Why not you?”

“I, I don’t know.” Alex feels her cheeks burning and she stares down at the floor, tugging anxiously at her shirtsleeves. “Why not…Kara?”

“Oh my god, no,” Lucy breaks into laughter. “I _love_ Kara but I would feel bad using her like that. She’s like the cute, slightly annoying little sister I always wanted.”

“Oh, so you don’t feel bad using me?” Alex crinkles her nose when Lucy’s last statement registers. “You do realize I’ve seen the way you look at my sister, right?”

Lucy clears her throat and waves her hand dismissively. “It’s not my fault she has a hot body.” She closes the distance between her and the other woman and awkwardly jabs Alex’s shoulder. “I don’t…I don’t trust myself around-”

“She Who Cannot Be Named?”

“Yeah,” Lucy whispers sadly, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “I do, however, trust myself around you. You won’t let me do something stupid, right?”

“Right.”

“So, what do you say?” Lucy begins, pulling at Alex’s hand. “Will you be my fake girlfriend, Alex Danvers?”

Alex wants to say no. She should say no. But the way Lucy’s small fingers are interlaced with her own makes her feel…warm. Like there’s some hope for happiness in her life, whether the relationship is fake or not.

“ _Fine_ ,” she bites out. “Whatever.”

“Wait.” Lucy blinks rapidly, unable to tell if Alex is joking or not. “Are, are you serious? I thought I was going to have to get on my knees and beg.”

“Really?” Alex can’t hide the smirk on her face. “Now that you mention it-”

“No, you already said yes!”

“I actually said ‘whatever.’”

Lucy squeals and throws her arms around Alex’s shoulders, standing on her tiptoes so she can squeeze her tight. Alex pats Lucy’s back and ignores the smug look on Vasquez’s face as she stares through one of the windows.

“So,” Lucy finally pulls away and wrings her hand together nervously.

Alex raises her eyebrows. “Why do I feel like I’m not going to like the next sentence that’s about to come out of your mouth?”

“Lana wants to have dinner tonight,” Lucy begins, her voice an octave higher than it normally is. “With me. And you. Since, since she thinks you’re my girlfriend.”

“I’m not prepared,” Alex says nervously, taking a step back and leaning against the wall. She’s glad Vasquez is no longer staring at them nosily. “What, what’s our backstory? She’s going to ask questions. We have to be prepared.”

Lucy laughs and places her arm on Alex’s forearm. “Alex, relax. It will be fine.”

“It will not be fine.” Alex’s face begins to pale. “She’s a lawyer. She’s going to interrogate the crap out of me, isn’t she?”

“Maybe,” Lucy says uneasily. “But come on, you’re one of the best liars I know.” She rubs her thumb across Alex’s wrist. “We’ll be fine. Just, uh, just follow my lead.”

Alex bites her lip. “I’m ordering the most expensive thing on the menu.”

“Go for it.”

“And then I’m getting blackout drunk, got it?”

“Oh, I’ll be right there with you,” Lucy laughs, suddenly turning serious when Alex still looks distraught. “Thank you…for doing this.”

“You’re still pretty stupid for telling her you have a girlfriend,” Alex mumbles, crossing her arms and awkwardly kicking Lucy’s shin with her foot. “But you’re welcome.”

Lucy smiles and slumps down on the floor next to Alex. “Why do you think I would pick Kara over you?”

“Uh, because _everyone_ picks Kara over me,” Alex says after a few minutes of silence. She refuses to look at Lucy because she’s all too familiar with the look of pity that’s probably splashed across Lucy’s face. “She’s a superhero and like, a human form of a golden retriever puppy.”

“So?” Lucy scoffs, elbowing Alex’s side when she still won’t look at her. “Technically, Supergirl’s the superhero. Kara’s just Kara, your goofy and adorable little sister with the body of-”

Alex holds her hand up. “That’s enough, thanks.”

“Look, you’re preaching to the choir about being second best,” Lucy continues, her features softening when she finally meets Alex’s gaze. “Even if I cured cancer I’d still be Lois Lane’s little sister.”

“Well, since you don’t have the scientific background and lack the proper knowledge as to how cancer forms…”

“Shut up,” Lucy laughs, bumping her shoulder against Alex’s. “I was just trying to make you feel better. From one lesser sister to another, don’t harp on it. Because trust me, you’re a superhero in your own way.”

Alex scowls and brushes the imaginary lint off her pants. “Way to be cheesy.”

“I’m done,” Lucy feigns offense and stands up. “I’ll pick you up at seven, okay?”

“What should I wear?”

Lucy shrugs and opens the door. “Do I need to come over and give you a makeover?”

“No,” Alex groans. “I’ll get Kara to do it. She lives for this kind of stuff.”

“I’ll see you later.”

Alex stupidly waves and keeps a safe distance from Lucy walking out of the lab. Vasquez is waiting for her a few feet away with a smug look on her face.

“And what was that about, Agent Danvers?”

“Shut up, Vasquez,” Alex says coyly. “I have to leave early. Are you good to cover for me or do I have to tell Hank you were the one who ate his last box of chocos?”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Vasquez warns with a smirk, rubbing Alex’s shoulder when she looks perturbed.

\--

“You and Lucy are _what_?”

Alex rolls her eyes and wonders how many god damn times she has to explain this to her sister. Kara’s staring at her in utter confusion, chewing daintily on a piece of beef teriyaki on a skewer.

“You’re dating?” Kara continues when Alex just stares into the abyss that is her bowl of pork fried rice.

“No!” Alex finally looks up in exasperation. “We’re not dating. We’re…pretending to date while her ex-girlfriend is in town.”

“Lucy has an ex-girlfriend?!” Kara’s eyes widen. “Wow.”

“You’re telling me.”

Kara reaches for another pot sticker and leans back on the arm of the couch. “Why didn’t she ask me to be her fake girlfriend?”

“Really, Kara?” Alex groans. “That’s all you’re taking away from this? _Why_ Lucy didn’t ask _you_ to be her fake girlfriend?”

“I’m just…I thought Lucy and I were closer!” Kara says in defense. “Yet another person who has friend zoned me.”

Alex snorts and shoves a forkful of rice in her mouth. She’s too afraid to go to dinner on an empty stomach for fear she’ll drink too fast and end up doing something she’ll regret.

“Oh no, it’s worse.” She pats Kara’s knee. “She went the “she’s like my little sister” route.”

“Oh, I hate that route.” Kara scowls because she’s been on that all too familiar route with all of Alex’s friends in high school _and_ in college.

“It’s not totally stupid, right? I can do this.”

Kara sits up straighter and sacrifices the rest of her meal because Alex rarely freaks out about things. “Are you sure you’re not going to get attached?”

“What? No! It’s fake.”

“You say it’s fake…” Kara treads lightly and shuffles closer to Alex. “But what happens if you do get attached? I know you, Alex. You have the biggest heart out of everyone I know. I get that you want to help Lucy but…”

Alex sighs and lifts her arm slightly so Kara can snuggle into her. “But what?”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” Kara whispers, smiling when Alex runs her fingers through her hair. “And I don’t want to lose the only girl friend I have.”

Alex closes her eyes because she hasn’t even begun to consider how this would affect Kara. Her and Lucy have become really close over the last few months. She doesn’t want to screw anything up.

“I’m sorry,” Alex finally says after a few minutes of silence.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” Kara tells her sister softly. “I mean, what if I came home and told you Cat Grant and I were going to pretend to date?”

“Don’t you dare,” Alex warns.

“No! What would you say to me?”

Alex groans. She knows what Kara’s doing. “I’d be…supportive. You’re old enough to make your own stupid decisions.”

“No you wouldn’t,” Kara giggles. “You’d tell me how dumb it was and then threaten to send Cat to Timbuktu or some other place I can’t pronounce.”

“So you think it’s dumb?”

Kara eases herself up and looks Alex in the eye. She can see the hesitation on her sister’s face. “Not dumb…I just think you like Lucy more than you let on.”

“We’re just friends,” Alex snaps, freeing herself from the grip Kara has around her right arm.

“Oh, now you’re friends? You just told me on Sunday you _weren’t_ friends.”

Alex bites her lip and brushes off the look of concern on Kara’s face. She reaches for the last pot sticker and dangles it in front of her sister. “If I give you this, will you drop it?”

Kara stiffens at Alex’s bribe but takes it anyway. “Fine,” she concedes. “But when this fails I get to tell you I told you so.”

“Fine.”

“ _And_ I’m going to threaten to send Lucy into space if she hurts you.”

Alex rolls her eyes and grimaces when Kara inhales the pot sticker in one quick bite. She’s grateful for Kara’s concern and pats her sister’s knee. “Deal.”

“What are you going to wear?” Kara asks a few seconds later, unable to hide the smile on her face. “You should wear that black dress!”

Alex shakes her head because that’s her “get laid” dress. “Nah,” she says simply because Kara does not need to know that.

“Why not?” Kara’s eyes widen as she shovels a forkful of lo mein in her mouth. She grips her sister’s arm and shakes it gently. “You look so good in it. What restaurant are you going to? What’s the dress code? Why aren’t you more prepared?!”

Alex frees her arm from Kara’s grip and stares at her sister in disbelief. “Kara, breathe.”

“Right,” Kara nods vigorously and takes a breath. “I’m breathing.”

“I’ll wear the black dress,” Alex concedes because honestly, she doesn’t have the energy to set her overly exuberant sister loose in her closet. Kara will tear it apart in seven seconds and everything will be a mess.

Kara squeals and claps her hands in excitement. “You should do a smoky eye! I mean, I, I don’t really know how to do that. Do you? If not, we could look up a tutorial on YouTube. Kids these days are like…professionals.”

“Kara, remember what I said about breathing,” Alex reminds her sister in slight amusement. She glances at the time and shoots up when she realizes it’s 6:45, gathering the stray takeout containers on her coffee table. “Besides,” she calls out over her shoulder, dumping the contents in the garbage. “This is all fake, remember? It’s probably only going to be one night.”

“It might change Lucy’s mind,” Kara says knowingly, wiggling her eyebrows and following Alex into her bedroom. She lays spread eagle on the bed and wonders how her sister can be so calm about this. “Weren’t you just freaking out about this like ten minutes ago?”

“Then I remembered it’s fake,” Alex says yet again. She pulls the black dress over her head and forces Kara to sit up so she can zip it up for her. “I’ll survive one night.”

“If you say so,” Kara mumbles, flopping back on the bed. “What does she look like? Is she super hot? I bet. Lucy only dates super hot people.”

Alex rolls her eyes and disappears into the bathroom, combing a brush through her hair and slathering on a subtle amount of eyeliner and mascara. She attempts to shut the door before Kara elbows her way. Unfortunately, Kara slips in just as Alex is about to kick the door shut with her foot.

“You don’t even wear makeup on your _real_ dates,” Kara points out smugly.

“Kara, go away.”

“You invited me over!”

“Well, now I’m disinviting you over. Go home.”

Kara knows not to push. She stands up with a dramatic groan. “ _Fine_ ,” she moans, wrapping her arms around Alex’s waist and resting her chin on her shoulder. “I’ll go play Pokémon Go with the kids in the park.”

Alex chuckles and shrugs her sister off. “You do that. Don’t make it weird though.”

“Duh, Alex. I’m going as Supergirl. I get all the hard to catch Pokémon that are like in the trees and high places. The pre-teen boys _love_ me.”

“They’re just using you for Pokémon, Kar, remember that,” Alex can’t help but tease, knowing she deserves Kara’s closed fist (gently) slugging her arm.

She’s glad Kara has decided to take off out the window because as soon she leaves, Lucy timidly raps on the door. Alex looks over her apartment once more and opens the door once she’s satisfied with the cleanliness. She’s a pretty clean person but once Hurricane Kara hits it’s hard to keep everything in order.

As much as she tells herself it’s fake, Alex can’t help but stare at Lucy’s body and the way it looks in the burgundy dress she’s wearing. It fits like a second skin and Alex is definitely going to need two or five shots of tequila to survive this dinner.

“Wow,” Lucy says dryly, running her tongue over her red lips. “You…are you wearing make up?”

Alex swats Lucy’s hand away when she touches her face. “Did you want me to look homeless? Because if so, I can go change.”

“No!” Lucy says a little too quickly. “No. You look amazing.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” Alex whispers, peering down at the floor. With Lucy in sky-high high heels, they’re almost at eye level. “Are you trying to show Lana what she’s missing?”

Lucy self-consciously runs a hand down the front of her dress, fingers fiddling with the ruched material at her mid-section. “Maybe,” she answers coyly. “Anyway, I picked the most expensive restaurant in the city. Order whatever you want off the menu because she’s totally going to pay. She _loves_ showing off.”

Alex nods and follows Lucy down the stairs and out to her car. “Anything I should know about She Who Cannot Be Named?”

Lucy grips her steering wheel and stares ahead at the empty road. “She’s definitely condescending to people she doesn’t know.”

“Great,” Alex says with an eye roll. “You know how to pick them.”

“Shut up,” Lucy laughs, reaching over to hit Alex’s bare thigh. She retracts her hand almost immediately when she feels how soft and smooth it is. “You’ll be fine. I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my fake girlfriend.”

Alex takes that as a bout of confidence and grabs Lucy’s free hand in her own when she notices the other woman’s face paling as the restaurant looms closer.

\--

Having a socially inept alien for a sibling has put Alex in a lot of awkward situations.

But this? This has to be the worst one yet.

Lucy’s on her third glass of wine and they’ve barely even looked at the dinner menu. Even Alex can’t help but stare at Lana’s tall, slender body in the navy blue V-neck dress she’s wearing that leaves little to the imagination. She’s definitely caught Lucy staring at least three or four times as well.

Kara’s right; Lucy only dates super hot people.

“So,” Lana clears her throat, her perfectly manicured fingers curling around the ridiculously fancy hardcover menu. “How long have you two been together?”

Lucy and Alex share a quick look of panic because surprise, they’re totally not prepared for this.

“Uh, s-six months or so,” Lucy says offhandedly. She turns to Alex for confirmation.

“Yes,” Alex says almost robotically. “Six…wonderful months. Feels like years.” She doesn’t even recognize her own voice at this point.

Lucy beams and lets out a shaky breath. “What about you and…what’s your fiancé’s name again?”

“Ron,” Lana answers, sitting up straighter in her chair and not-so-subtly flashing her ring finger as she goes to tuck a piece of platinum blonde hair behind her ear. “It’s been a little over four years since we’ve been together.”

Alex snorts into her double whiskey sour and takes a courageous sip. “How do you know Lucy again?” She’s definitely stirring the pot. “She’s never mentioned you until this afternoon.”

Lucy takes great pleasure in the look of discomfort on Lana’s face.

“We went to law school together,” Lana says stiffly. “Isn’t that right, Lu?”

Oh, Alex is definitely going to use that nickname as a form of torture from now on.

“Right,” Lucy says between sips of wine. “Harvard Law. Just like Elle Woods.” She turns her attention back to Alex when nobody laughs. Kara would be giggling like a hyena if she were here. “Alex went to Stanford.”

Lana actually looks genuinely impressed. “What did you study there?”

“Bioengineering.”

“She’s got a PhD,” Lucy continues, patting Alex’s hand when she blushes. “She’s so modest about it. My little genius!”

Alex scrunches up her nose in discomfort because Lucy literally sounds like she sucked in a bunch of helium. “What kind of law do you practice?”

“I’m in between jobs at the moment,” Lana shrugs, moving her menu aside to make room for the charcuterie board she’s ordered along with some goat cheese and nut appetizer that of course is placed in front of Alex. “I actually came to the city because-don’t you dare laugh, Luc-I had a job interview with Cat Grant.”

Alex swears Lucy is going to do a spite take with her wine.

“Dig in,” Lana continues when Lucy and Alex remain quiet.

“Cat Grant,” Lucy stutters. “Cat Grant…”

“Yes, Cat Grant,” Alex can’t help but tease. “The Queen of All Media.”

“She’s pretty amazing,” Lana smiles. She takes a sip of wine and leans closer. “And god help me for saying this but…her little assistant? She’s probably like twelve, but she had this tight little skirt on and-”

_Oh_.

Before Alex can even open her mouth, Lucy sends her hand flying over Alex’s thigh to keep her in place. “Aren’t you getting married?” Lucy laughs awkwardly.

“Oh, come on. I can look, can’t I?” Lana wiggles her eyebrows and daintily chews on a piece of salami from the charcuterie board. She sits up straighter in amusement when she notices Alex glaring at her. “Have I offended you, Alice?”

Lucy looks all around for any sign of their less than stellar waiter Antonio who seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. “Kara, Cat Grant’s assistant, is uh, well she’s _Alex’s-_ ”

“Ex-girlfriend?” Lana supplies condescendingly.

“Sister,” Alex grits out. “My twenty-four-year-old _little sister_.”

Lana clears her throat. “Oh. I see.”

“Yeah,” Lucy giggles awkwardly. “Alex is really protective of her.”

“Well she does seem a little…daft,” Lana mumbles into her drink.

“So what are you getting to eat?” Lucy asks Alex before she can launch over the table and choke Lana to death. “They have steak, your, your favorite, right? Don’t you just love steak?”

Alex takes several deep breaths and stares at Lucy oddly. “Sure.”

“Okay, so you’re going to get the steak. I’m going to get the lamb…” She looks all around the restaurant again. “Where the hell is Antonio?”

“Relax, _Lu_ ,” Alex grins, using her right hand to pat Lucy’s back. She has to admit; seeing Lucy all frazzled is pretty amusing. Lucy is normally so put together and so…adult like. She kind of prefers this one better.

“Sure thing, _Al_ ,” Lucy bites back with an even smugger grin. “How long are you in the city for, Lana?”

Lana pretends to “choke” on a piece of cheese and clears her throat for what seems like an eternity. “Well, only a few days. But if I get this job with Cat Grant then I’d say pretty permanently. It will be just like old times!”

Alex scowls and downs the rest of her drink. “Sounds…super.”

Lucy eyes widen into saucers because if Lana gets this job…

Antonio finally resurfaces from his mission to mars and dutifully takes everyone’s order while Alex peers at the weird goat cheese, nut, and honey appetizer that Lana keeps grazing at with these thin crackers that are probably gluten free and made of quinoa.

“Why am I doing all the eating?” Lana laughs. “Please help yourself.”

“Well…Alex is allergic to nuts so,” Lucy makes a face and pushes the goat cheese roll towards Lana. “She can’t have that, unless we want her going into anaphylactic shock. We don’t want that, do we?”

“I suppose not,” Lana says airily. “Well, more for us then.”

Alex doesn’t know why she suddenly feels a surge of jealously when Lana _winks_ at Lucy. Winks…at her (fake) girlfriend! She downs the rest of her drink and orders another one from someone who is clearly not their waiter but she’s glaring hard enough that he easily complies and returns in record time.

When Lana excuses herself to the bathroom, Alex groans and drops her head on the table.

“She is a nightmare! I’d rather dine with Fort Rozz prisoners than Lawyer Barbie.”

“I’m sorry,” Lucy whispers. “I really am. I honestly didn’t know she had a job interview with Cat either.”

Alex sits up and crosses her arms. “Do you think we can get Kara to sabotage her chances of getting the job?”

“I hope so,” Lucy says dryly. “I can’t handle being in the same city as her again.”

“And I don’t think I can handle ever seeing her stupid face again.”

Lucy chuckles and looks at Alex sincerely. “Yeah,” she sighs. “Hopefully this is the first and only time.”

“And if she says one more inappropriate thing about my sister…”

“I give you full permission to deck her.”

“Thank you,” Alex mumbles with a slight pout. She swirls her finger around her glass and sits up straighter when Lana reappears. She jumps when her phone rings and quickly rifles through her bag to silence it. “Sorry.”

Lucy watches Alex’s face contort in confusion. “Everything okay?”

“It’s Vasquez,” Alex says with a slight wave of her hand. “She’s probably just calling to annoy me.”

“Are you sure?” Lucy asks when Alex’s phone rings yet again. “Answer it.”

“It might be important,” Lana adds in sincerely.

Alex excuses herself and Lucy watches her leave the restaurant in concern. She knows Vasquez doesn’t call to annoy her. Vasquez calls when there’s a problem.

“She doesn’t seem like your type,” Lana says matter-of-factly once she gets Lucy’s attention.

Lucy narrows her eyes in offense. “She’s…she’s great,” she bites out, setting Lana straight with a glare.

“Does she treat you right?”

“Compared to who? You?” Lucy continues in a brash tone.

“I suppose I deserve that.”

“You have no right inviting me to your wedding. Hell, you have no right calling me and telling me you want to see me!” Lucy stops and takes a breath, grabbing her purse and stuffing it under her arm. “I’m going to check on Alex.”

Lucy’s stomach feels like it has dropped to her feet when she finds Alex outside, pacing frantically and resting a hand on the top of her head. “Alex,” she whispers, placing her arm on Alex’s shoulder. “Everything okay?”

Alex nods and hangs up her phone, staring at Lucy rather frantically. “Kara. I mean…she’s fine. Vasquez said she’s fine but…”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Alex sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Kara got stabbed with a kryptonite knife. I should go…do you mind if I go? I need to be with her.”

“Oh my god, go, please,” Lucy says, wrapping Alex in a hug. She doesn’t let go when Alex’s arms wrap tightly around her waist. “I’m coming with you.”

Alex immediately protests. “No, no. Stay and have dinner with Satan.”

“I’m coming with you, okay?” Lucy says firmly. “I’ll go get your purse.” She digs around for her keys and places them in Alex’s palm. “I’ll meet you at the car.”

 

 

 


End file.
